Criptology 101
by GreenLightEyes
Summary: The one in which Root keeps writing coded messages to Shaw just to piss her off and Shaw wants to punch her in the face (as usual).


Notes: Hi everyone! I'm so happy to finally publish this little fanfiction. I had so much fun writing these dorks, I just love them so much and I feel like Root would do something like this haha. The coded messages that I wrote are real, so if you want you can have fun with that. I hope you enjoy this and I would love to read your comments! P.S. English is not my first language.

The first time it happened was a Sunday afternoon. Shaw was playing fetch with Bear when she got a text from Root, whom she thought was sleeping in the other room.

01001011 01101001 01110011 01110011 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101001 01100110 00100000 01101001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110111 01110010 01101111 01101110 01100111 00101100 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01100100 01101001 01101110 01101111 01110011 01100001 01110101 01110010 01110011 00100000 01110011 01110100 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100101 01111000 01101001 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110010 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00111111

Shaw looked puzzled, her eyes falling on a heart emoji at the end. "What the hell is this?"

She entered the bedroom without knocking and found Root cross-legged on the bed, working on her laptop.

"Root". She completely ignored her. "**Root**" she called louder.

"Mh, yeah?" she said distractedly, barely raising her eyes.

"Did the Machine finally damage your head?"

Root's lips curved to form a little wry smile. "Why, do you miss role-playing? You be the human and I'll be the robot?" she said, not even trying to hide her smirk.

When Shaw didn't answer, she shrugged her shoulders and continued: "I just thought it'd be fun to explore new ways of communicating".

"Communication is effective when speaker and listener understand the same code of language. I don't speak nerd."

Root tilted her head and gave her a both stern and amused look. "Don't tell me you're afraid of a few numbers now, Sameen" she challenged her.

Shaw stared back at her for a few moments and then sighed. "Fine".

She closed the door and grabbed Root's second laptop that was resting on the desk. She groaned while searching for a way to convert what she believed was binary code and knowing she would regret this already. Once she'd put all the zeros and ones into the converter and sneaked a few disapproving glances at Root in the meantime, she clicked the convert button, only half curious as to what she would find there, the other half was already preparing to roll her eyes.

"**Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right**?"

Shaw stared at the screen with a deadpan expression, not sure what to think. She looked at Root. "Kill me if I'm right, you're getting everyday more annoying, aren't you?"

"So you didn't think it was cute?" she said, teasing her.

"Yeah sure Root, you're adorable..." Root smiled, detecting Shaw's sarcasm "...like an intestinal parasite."

"I love your similes". Everything that came out of Shaw's mouth sounded endearing to her.

Shaw groaned. "Just stick to English next time, ok?"

After closing the laptop, Shaw got up and walked towards the door followed by Root's eyes, but when she had her hand on the knob, she stopped. Root looked at her curiously, but just as she was about to ask her what was wrong, Shaw turned around and to her surprise, she planted a quick kiss on her lips.

"What was that for?" Root asked a little dumbfounded, as anytime Shaw would do something unexpected like that. "I thought you were going to punch me".

"Well..." she said "...you are wrong." And with a smirk playing on her lips she walked away, leaving a dreamy Root behind.

The second time it happened, Shaw was in the subway with Finch. She hadn't had a break for ten hours and was about to take the first bite of her pastrami sandwich, when the screen in front of her lit up.

"**BTHBTLYNLSZMIIAEXQ**?"

She eyed it suspiciously. "Finch, I think your computer is trying to talk to you." She hummed when she finally got to taste her sandwich. "Better than sex."

"What do you mean it's trying to talk to me? Is it the Machine?"

She shrugged and nodded towards the computer. Finch studied the message and stated that it'd probably been written by a human, to which Shaw made an acknowledging sound in between mouthfuls, but then stopped chewing when realization dawned on her. "It's her" she said with her mouth full. She tried to ignore it and focused all her attention on the delicious sandwich in her hands. But the more she ate, the more she thought about what that meant. And the more she thought, the more she got angry that her first meal of the day had been ruined. She sighed heavily and put down her half-eaten sandwich. "Finch, this is for me."

"How do you know?"

"It's Root. I don't know if she's going crazy or she just wants to piss me off, but she's sending me these coded messages or whatever and all I want to do is eat my sandwich. I have no idea how to crack this thing, can you do it?"

Finch gave her an alarmed look. "Of course, Miss Shaw."

"Thanks" she said, resuming to eat.

After a while, Finch updated Shaw: "It would appear Miss Groves has furtherly encrypted the message using another cipher, these letters make no sense. Let me work on it."

"Sure, whatever."

It was only five minutes until he spoke again: "Oh dear."

"What"

"She- um... Well, she..." Finch stuttered awkwardly, adjusting his glasses.

Shaw narrowed her eyes, hopped down and looked over Finch to scan a piece of paper in his hands and her eyes widened. She violently grabbed the paper from his hands and stormed out of the subway, leaving him alone with this new trauma.

"Wanna fuck me tonight? Really?!"

"Well... do you?" Root said in a saccharine sweet voice.

"Finch read that!"

"Well honey...that's why it was encrypted."

"Are you serious? The only reason he read that **is** because you encrypted it! And you couldn't just..." she pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head. "You really needed to use a combination of two ciphers to tell me to fuck you?"

"Are you giving me permission to simply slip naked in your bed next time, then?"

"No, I'm not."

"I think you should."

"I think I should shoot you."

"Mmh, kinky" she said, causing Shaw to roll her eyes. "I thought we would be done with guns at this point."

"A girl can dream."

"Of course." Root replied. "Are you mad at me?"

"I'm always mad at you. Right now I really want to hurt you."

This was the way with Root. She would either send you a secret coded invitation or she'd straight up slip into your bed naked. Who needs half measures anyway?

Root ventured to hook a finger in Shaw's jeans' loops to get her close but instead she found herself slammed against the wall by Shaw's strong arms, their faces only inches apart. What was with Shaw and her gluing herself to Root everytime she was pissed at her? Not that she minded, of course. When she had recovered her breath, she said: "It was really that embarrassing with Finch, huh?"

"You have no idea" she growled, her low voice sending a shiver down Root's spine.

"Why don't I make it up to you tonight..." she said with a suggestive smile, tracing a finger down Shaw's chest "...my offer is still valid."

Shaw scowled, batting Root's hand away and backing off her. "Why do you always have to be so irritating?"

"That's why you love me."

She scoffed. "Yeah, right."

Even though she felt the urge to hit her, she had to admit the offer was tempting, but she still wanted her to pay.

"Let's make a deal".

"Mh?" Root 's curiosity was piqued.

"If tonight you can get me off in less than one minute..." she paused, Root's curiosity was definitely engaged now, "... you're safe. If you can't do that-"

"Tsk, please."

"If you can't do that, I'm gonna make your life a living hell for the next week."

Root didn't hesitate: "Deal."

Fuck this woman and her tongue.

Shaw was trying her best not to come, but Root was using all her best tricks and it was proving really hard to resist. She even started to grind around Root's fingers unconsciously and barely fought the urge to grab her by the hair to push her in. A moan escaped her mouth as she had almost forgotten about their deal at this point.

But then Root stopped abruptly. "Sorry Sam, the Machine needs me."

"What? Seriously?" Shaw said, instantly missing the expert fingers that had left her on the edge.

"She's printing me a new identity as we speak".

"Ugh, you can't even finish me?"

Root laughed: "Someone's eager. Weren't you supposed to give me hell for a week?"

"In fact I didn't come, the minute is over" she said lying to herself.

"Yeah but you were pretty close to coming. If the Machine hadn't called-"

"Bullshit. It doesn't count."

Root tilted her head and smiled, curling her nose. "I think it does."

Shaw, who was resting on her elbows, dropped dramatically onto the bed and groaned, while Root went to pack a little bag with her guns and some clothes. Once she got everything she needed, she climbed on the bed to kiss her favourite sociopath goodbye. Shaw waited until Root was out the door to say: "I won."

"No you didn't."

The next day, Sameen was stuck in the subway alone, bored and frustrated that they had left her there. She was cleaning all her guns for the fourth time when a message popped up on the monitor very much like the day before. She was certain it couldn't be Root this time, since she was on a mission and wouldn't have time for this. But when she took a look at the screen, she frowned.

"**486F6E65792C2077652072616E206F7574206F66206D696C6B2C2063616E20796F752062757920697420706C656173653F**"

"It better be the Machine who hacked her brain."

She noticed something that startled her then. "Wait, she's using the fucking emergency line?"

Shaw was furious, she started to pace the room.

She's on a mission, maybe she needs help? She's using this code for extra safety?

She whistled for Bear to come. "Come here buddy". She threw a bone for him to catch.

No, she's just teasing me again. I'm not playing her stupid ass game.

"Good boy." She scratched his ears while he lunched forward to lick her face.

But why did she use the emergency line? What if she's in trouble and I'm not helping her?

She tried to resist, she really did, but the thought of an injured Root by the hands of someone that wasn't her made her angry and overcame the annoyance she was feeling. So she gave in, she sat massaging her temples and started decoding the message. After a few attempts she screamed in frustration and kicked the computer, annoyed that she had to turn to the internet to figure it out, but she had a feeling that this time Root was being serious. Come on.

After a quick research she discovered it was hexadecimals and ran the code to convert the message to ASCII.

"**Honey, we ran out of milk, can you buy it please?**"

Shaw blinked a few times to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. Unfortunately, she wasn't. Root had actually sent her a coded message to tell her to buy fucking milk. She felt herself starting to tremble from rage, since Root wasn't even remotely in danger and was probably home watching her somehow and laughing. She got up from the chair, determined to end this once and for all.

"You keep watch on this place, I'll be back soon" she said to Bear and then grabbed a bottle of expensive looking scotch before heading out.

When she got home, she found Root leaning on her desk, intent on working on her laptop, she didn't even see her. Shaw sneaked towards her in absolute silence, until- SBAM! She slammed the bottle on her desk. Root jumped and made a little squeal, bringing her hand to her chest instinctively. "Jesus, you scared me".

"Good."

"Oh nice, you brought drinks".

Shaw snatched the bottle away from Root before she could even touch it. "Not for you." She moved the bottle on the table and grabbed a glass.

Root pouted. "Mh, why so grumpy?"

"I'll fucking kill you, Root."

Root raised her eyes from the laptop while she continued to type and smiled knowingly.

Shaw poured herself a much needed drink and smelled it briefly, then muttered into her glass: "Thank God Finch buys top shelf."

"Maybe you should spank me instead".

Shaw choked and sputtered her whiskey, her throat burned but she still managed to give Root a death glare.

"Mmh, that's just the look I was hoping for." Root bit her lip, her voice an innuendo.

Despite herself, Shaw felt a pool of heat in her lower belly, making its way through her anger and easing her just enough not to punch her in the face that instant. Nonetheless, she pretended not to be affected by her words and if possible, she looked even more pissed, pursing her lips. Unfazed, Root got up and close to the shorter brunette and whispered seductively in her ear: "I've been such a bad girl, Sameen, you need to punish me."

Shaw's spine tingled with pleasure and irritation and she lifted her gaze to see a smirk forming on the hacker's lips. She reconsidered punching her, but she knew Root would never stop until she indulged her, so shaking her head almost imperceptibly, she fluttered her eyes shut and sighed: "I guess...If I killed you, the Machine would go full AI on my ass. This sounds a lot more fun." Then she added: "Although the real punishment for you would be no punishment at all, but I am still missing an orgasm from last night, so."

Root perked up. "Soo, are you free tonight?" she asked playfully, she knew she was. Her eyes were sparkling with their usual mischief.

"You know I am. Just remember that I'm gonna get back at you for doing this, at some point. And I swear to God, if you ever use another damn code or whatever, I'm gonna end you."

LATER THAT NIGHT

"Root?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Are you writing Morse Code on my clitoris with your tongue?"

"...maybe" she said, "Do you want me to stop?"

There was an emphatic silence from Shaw, while she collected her thoughts and remembered her previous threats.

"I'll fucking kill you, Root."

Shaw stared blankly at the ceiling for a few seconds, then closing her eyes, she slowly exhaled and said reluctantly: "No, don't stop."

Root instantly wore a smug grin. "Didn't you say-"

Shaw huffed loudly and pushed Root's head back between her legs. "Shut up".

Revenge could wait.


End file.
